On Shortcuts: A Word to the Wise

I may have metioned previously that before I started this effort, I was essentially "waiting" for the magic bullet to come and put an end to my misery. Whether it was going to be the magic pill that has no side effects other than to make you thin, the magic surgery that has no side effects other than to make you thin, or the magic job that would come along so I could afford the two previous options. Barring all that, a third incredibly desperate option was to trawl different medical trial sites for not-quite-FDA-approved procedures or supplements that would allow me to leverage my youth's "it can't happen to me" instinct and my other youth's ability of "not being able to afford anything ever."

Well, there was a third option that I was going to take the moment it became available in my area. It is essentially a neat procedure that didn't permanently alter any of your bits, nor did it rely on doing weird ghastly things to your metabolism or nutrient uptake or other whatever-else-diet-pills-do black magic. This was going to be a mechanical solution that essentially worked like a pipe liner for your small intestine that keeps food from being absorbed (most food absorption happens in the small intestine). The advantages were numerous:

• Reduced Calorie uptake leading to weightloss
• Increased insulin sensitivity leading to not having to worry about the 'beetus
• Comparatively safe procedure with no cutting or bit-removal involved
• Ergo, when removed it's like you didn't have it there in the first place, albeit you're thinner.

It is supposedly a nice Goldilocks solution that fills in the gap between "maybe, sometimes, kinda works IF you diet like you should have been doing anyways, or we're gon' damage your heart valves, or you are ok with basically taking meth" pills and "you can't get fat if you have no stomach" surgery. This was great! Truly an obesity treatment of the future! I even emailed/called them a few times to see if and when they'd be doing a trial in the states.

Well, tonight I found an ooooold bookmark folder in my browser and set about deleting sites I hadn't visited in years. Lo and Behold: a bookmark for GI Dynamics, the company trialling (still, apparently. Man I must be patient) the endobarrier  magic bullet shortcut rainbow unicorn product that I was waiting for. I went ahead and gave it a clickeroo to see what the latest news was and was greeted by this message, front and center on the homepage:

Um... yikes.

Concerning, no? So, a word of caution: so far, I do not know of any shortcut that doesn't end up costing more than is worth paying. Don't consider these nuclear options if your doctor doesn't believe it's medically necessary. Do it the hard way; diet and exercise have far fewer side effects.

Luckily for me, I'd decided that, while waiting for this third option, I'd go ahead and at least start on the diet part since I knew that'd be my new reality regardless (and... I guess I'm still waiting? 'Cause here we are and that procedure never came about and I'm kinda done...).